HULK SMASH! — The Incredible Hulk (TV Series) (1978-82) -vs- Hulk (2003) -vs- The Incredible Hulk (2008) -vs- The Avengers (2012)

September 4, 2012 Ben Silverio

Back in 2008, the jade giant known as the Incredible Hulk wreaked havoc in the Movie Smackdown arena in a battle that pitted that year’s The Incredible Hulk, featuring Edward Norton, against 2003’s The Hulk, starring Eric Bana. Since then, a new Hulk has emerged on the scene, thanks to Joss Whedon’s The Avengers and Mark Ruffalo, so we’re revisiting the battle and kicking it up a notch by throwing Bill Bixby, the first man ever to embody David Bruce Banner on screen, into the mix as well. You might think Bixby has the advantage, since he has Lou Ferrigno in his corner, but don’t count out Bana, Norton and Ruffalo from this fatal four-way just yet.

This fight is so big that we need two Smack refs to officiate over the action. After all, one Hulk destroyed Las Vegas, overthrew an alien planet’s government and became their king, and beat the crap out of his fair share of Earth’s mightiest heroes, so imagine the destruction these four Hulks might cause! […]

Savages (2012) -vs- Scarface (1983)

July 6, 2012 Ben Silverio

Drugs are a dangerous game, and it seems like Oliver Stone knows this fairly well. In the 1983 cult classic Scarface, which he wrote for Brian De Palma, and his new release Savages, which he co-wrote with Shane Salerno and novelist Don Winslow, as well as directed, he shares stories of young guys who start small in the drug game and climb to a whole new level they’re not prepared for.

Iconic gangster Tony Montana and the duo of modern-day marijuana moguls Ben and Chon hold their own (to a point) when the big boys come to play in their respective movies, but how will they fare when they go up against each other? […]

The Five-Year Engagement (2012) -vs- Runaway Bride (1999)

April 26, 2012 Ben Silverio

Spring is a time of rebirth and new life, and what institution better embodies a new life than marriage? Well, probably divorce. Either way, spring is in the air here at Movie Smackdown, and we’ve got a major matrimony matchup to do battle—without even the benefit of a pre-nup.

The Challenger in this rom-com rampage is The Five-Year Engagement, premiering this weekend, with Jason Segel and Emily Blunt as the leads. […]

American Reunion (2012) -vs- American Pie (1999)

April 5, 2012 Ben Silverio

In this matchup, the Movie Smackdown Arena has been converted into something that resembles the Iron Chefs’ Kitchen Stadium because we’re comparing an American culinary classic: Apple pie. Everyone loves a slice of warm, homemade apple pie, but which one is the best piece: the first or the last? If you ask Jim Levenstein, I think he’d say to just jump in headfirst and enjoy, but I wouldn’t recommend using the head that he did. […]

Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax (2012) -vs- Horton Hears a Who! (2008)

February 29, 2012 Ben Silverio

My generation has been whining for years about our childhoods being collectively over, in light of the end of the Harry Potter series, the death of the creators of The Berenstain Bears, and countless other life-passages coming to a close. It’s good to know, with the theatrical release this weekend of Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax, that something important from our childhoods—and previous generations of childhoods—has survived and is still going strong. Though the good doctor himself, Theodor Geisel, has passed on, his legacy is still alive, well, and ready to be tested in Smackville.

If you want to get technical here, The Lorax should be the reigning champion, because his original movie debuted in 1972. However, he then went into a long hibernation, vacating his title. Now, the one who speaks for the trees has made a comeback, but times have changed. In the realm of computer-generated Seuss, the reigning king is Horton Hears A Who. Horton meant what he said and said what he meant, so when he says he’s coming for the guardian of the forest, The Once-ler chopping down trees for thneeds should be the last of The Lorax’s worries. […]

Joyful Noise (2012) -vs- Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)

January 19, 2012 Ben Silverio

As the Blues Brothers once learned, the Lord works in mysterious ways. But who would have thought that those mysterious ways involved sassy, singing ladies of a Southern black choir? Probably Jake, actually. He had some foresight. In today’s Smack, we hear the two veteran voices of Queen Latifah and Whoopi Goldberg, along with their choirs, going toe to toe… or rather, chord to chord. We have the new, gospel musical, Joyful Noise, taking on everyone’s favorite singing nun (suck it, Sound of Music!) in Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit. […]

We Bought A Zoo (2011) -vs- Jerry Maguire (1996)

December 22, 2011 Ben Silverio

Before Jeremy Piven’s Ari Gold, Tom Cruise as Jerry Maguire embodied everything most of us know about big-time entertainment agents. They can be weaselly in their business dealings, but they must have a raccoon’s ingenuity mixed with the predatory skills of a tiger to fight for their clients’ interests. So what would happen if we put up one of these movie agents against a group of actual animals? […]

Hugo (2011) -vs- Pinocchio (1940)

November 22, 2011 Ben Silverio

Walt Disney and Martin Scorsese — two names that stand out in the pantheon of cinema legends. Both have made indelible contributions both to the world of film and to popular culture. Now, for the first time ever, they’re in the same weight class, so we’re bringing them together for what’s sure to be a classic Smackdown. […]

Footloose (2011) -vs- Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (2004)

October 17, 2011 Ben Silverio

Mixed Martial Arts is often used inside the squared circle to throw off an opponent in a match. It includes many styles, such as boxing, wrestling, Brazilian jiu-jitsu, muay Thai, kickboxing, karate, and judo. But for this Smackdown, in this ring, we get a whole new style of combat: dance.

Two titans of dance-flick franchises, Footloose and Dirty Dancing, are squaring off. […]

30 Minutes or Less (2011) -vs- Nick of Time (1995)

August 13, 2011 Ben Silverio

Everyone knows, when you want something done right, you hire some unsuspecting schmuck to do it for you. Wait, that’s not how it goes. The bad guys in these two films are doing it all wrong, which is why this Smackdown includes, among other things, a competition for the title of undisputed laziest criminal in movie history. In one corner we have Dwayne, played by Danny McBride in the new comedy 30 Minutes or Less. In the other corner, Mr. Smith — no not that Mr. Smith; the one played by Christopher Walken in the 1995 thriller Nick of Time. These villains don’t want to get their hands dirty, so each one scopes out his surroundings and picks out someone randomly to act on his behalf. […]

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