Author Archives: Ben Silverio

The Five-Year Engagement (2012) -vs- Runaway Bride (1999)

Posted on April 26, 2012 by
Five-Year Engagement (2012) -vs- Runaway Bride (1999)

Spring is a time of rebirth and new life, and what institution better embodies a new life than marriage? Well, probably divorce. Either way, spring is in the air here at Movie Smackdown, and we’ve got a major matrimony matchup to do battle—without even the benefit of a pre-nup.

The Challenger in this rom-com rampage is The Five-Year Engagement, premiering this weekend, with Jason Segel and Emily Blunt as the leads. Continue reading →

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American Reunion (2012) -vs- American Pie (1999)

Posted on April 5, 2012 by
American Reunion (2012) -vs- American Pie (1999)

In this matchup, the Movie Smackdown Arena has been converted into something that resembles the Iron Chefs’ Kitchen Stadium because we’re comparing an American culinary classic: Apple pie. Everyone loves a slice of warm, homemade apple pie, but which one is the best piece: the first or the last? If you ask Jim Levenstein, I think he’d say to just jump in headfirst and enjoy, but I wouldn’t recommend using the head that he did. Continue reading →

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Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax (2012) -vs- Horton Hears a Who! (2008)

Posted on February 29, 2012 by
Dr Seuss Lorax (2012) -vs- Horton Hears a Who! (2008)

My generation has been whining for years about our childhoods being collectively over, in light of the end of the Harry Potter series, the death of the creators of The Berenstain Bears, and countless other life-passages coming to a close. It’s good to know, with the theatrical release this weekend of Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax, that something important from our childhoods—and previous generations of childhoods—has survived and is still going strong. Though the good doctor himself, Theodor Geisel, has passed on, his legacy is still alive, well, and ready to be tested in Smackville.

If you want to get technical here, The Lorax should be the reigning champion, because his original movie debuted in 1972. However, he then went into a long hibernation, vacating his title. Now, the one who speaks for the trees has made a comeback, but times have changed. In the realm of computer-generated Seuss, the reigning king is Horton Hears A Who. Horton meant what he said and said what he meant, so when he says he’s coming for the guardian of the forest, The Once-ler chopping down trees for thneeds should be the last of The Lorax’s worries. Continue reading →

Posted in Adventure, Animated, Comedy, Family | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Joyful Noise (2012) -vs- Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)

Posted on January 19, 2012 by
Joyful Noise (2012) -vs- Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)

As the Blues Brothers once learned, the Lord works in mysterious ways. But who would have thought that those mysterious ways involved sassy, singing ladies of a Southern black choir? Probably Jake, actually. He had some foresight. In today’s Smack, we hear the two veteran voices of Queen Latifah and Whoopi Goldberg, along with their choirs, going toe to toe… or rather, chord to chord. We have the new, gospel musical, Joyful Noise, taking on everyone’s favorite singing nun (suck it, Sound of Music!) in Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit. Continue reading →

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We Bought A Zoo (2011) -vs- Jerry Maguire (1996)

Posted on December 22, 2011 by
We Bought A Zoo (2011) -vs- Jerry Maguire (1996)

Before Jeremy Piven’s Ari Gold, Tom Cruise as Jerry Maguire embodied everything most of us know about big-time entertainment agents. They can be weaselly in their business dealings, but they must have a raccoon’s ingenuity mixed with the predatory skills of a tiger to fight for their clients’ interests. So what would happen if we put up one of these movie agents against a group of actual animals? Continue reading →

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Hugo (2011) -vs- Pinocchio (1940)

Posted on November 22, 2011 by
Hugo (2011) -vs- Pinocchio (1940)

Walt Disney and Martin Scorsese — two names that stand out in the pantheon of cinema legends. Both have made indelible contributions both to the world of film and to popular culture. Now, for the first time ever, they’re in the same weight class, so we’re bringing them together for what’s sure to be a classic Smackdown. Continue reading →

Posted in Adventure, Awards 2012, Drama, Family | 4 Comments

Footloose (2011) -vs- Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (2004)

Posted on October 17, 2011 by
Footloose -vs- Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights

Mixed Martial Arts is often used inside the squared circle to throw off an opponent in a match. It includes many styles, such as boxing, wrestling, Brazilian jiu-jitsu, muay Thai, kickboxing, karate, and judo. But for this Smackdown, in this ring, we get a whole new style of combat: dance.

Two titans of dance-flick franchises, Footloose and Dirty Dancing, are squaring off. Continue reading →

Posted in Music, Romance | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

30 Minutes or Less (2011) -vs- Nick of Time (1995)

Posted on August 13, 2011 by
30 Minutes or Less -vs- Nick of Time

Everyone knows, when you want something done right, you hire some unsuspecting schmuck to do it for you. Wait, that’s not how it goes. The bad guys in these two films are doing it all wrong, which is why this Smackdown includes, among other things, a competition for the title of undisputed laziest criminal in movie history. In one corner we have Dwayne, played by Danny McBride in the new comedy 30 Minutes or Less. In the other corner, Mr. Smith — no not that Mr. Smith; the one played by Christopher Walken in the 1995 thriller Nick of Time. These villains don’t want to get their hands dirty, so each one scopes out his surroundings and picks out someone randomly to act on his behalf. Continue reading →

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