Bryce Zabel's MOVIE SMACKDOWN!

Santa's 2007 Movie Smackdown!

The Smackdown. You certainly don't need to believe in Santa Claus to take inspiration from a good film that is either about the holiday or uses it as its backdrop. So here at Movie Smackdown! we've asked each of our critics to write a short blurb about a Christmas film that they have a special fondness for. Then we're going to submit those choices and others to the dreaded blog poll treatment. Which holiday film or films do you think are worth repeat viewing to get in the holiday spirit? Humbug, you say? Read on...

No, we don't think that you will likely choose "Fred Claus" as the Christmas film you'd want to recommend to your friends to see every year or even, maybe, this year. On the other hand, the breadth of Christmas films out there is wide and many have their passionate defenders and detractors. We think Movie Smackdown! is the perfect place to sort this out.

Here are the films that our critics have decided to advocate as the one Christmas movie they think you should either see for the first time or re-visit during the holidays. We have, as you'll see, a wide diversity of opinion.

By the way, if you're one of those people who simply want to vote and get it over with, you can go to the bottom of this post and you'll find the polls there.

No Country for Old Men (2007) -vs- The Terminator (1984)

Takes a Lickin' and Keeps on Tickin'
Review by Scott Baradell

The Smackdown.  "The thing that won't die, in the nightmare that won't end."  The tagline was created for 1984's Terminator, the career-making hit for Arnold Schwartzenegger and writer-director James Cameron -- but it also describes No Country for Old Men, the new effort from the Coen brothers.  Both films incorporate identical plot-driving elements: a soulless, unstoppable villain; a hero/heroine on the run; and a completely ineffectual lawman named Ed who does nothing to stem the violence.  The difference is, whereas Lt. Ed Traxler (Paul Winfield) gets blown away expeditiously to make way for more action in The Terminator, No Country lingers poignantly on the inability of Sheriff Ed Tom Bell (Tommy Lee Jones) to come to terms with a world that can produce such evil. 

"Terminator, come take a look at this new toy I got. It'll just kill ya."

The Challenger.  Yeah, yeah.  The world is getting nastier, and back in the day, sheriffs like Bell didn't even need to carry a sidearm -- and he probably had to walk 10 miles to get to school when he was a kid, too.  You might think the world-weary musings of an aging, overmatched cop could become grating (particularly when a killer is on the loose).  But Bell's dialogue here is so realistic and wise, and Jones inhabits the role so effortlessly, that his running commentary -- his wonderment -- is like a play-by-play announcer who's better than the game he's calling.  Not that the game isn't compelling.  Our hero, Llewelyn Moss (Josh Brolin), has found a case containing $2 million in drug money -- and Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem) is the Terminator with a pageboy haircut determined to get that money back.  Chigurh's relentless pursuit of Moss, and shocking, casual violence along the way, will set you on edge in scene after scene.  That's what happens when a vacant-eyed villain has no moral limits, and there is no one equipped to stop him.

"Anton Chigurh is a girly man. Let him cut his own eyeball out with a scalpel, then we talk."

The Champion.   Switch out Sarah Connor for the case of cash, and the plot is similar here.  Sarah, you may recall, is the woman the Terminator, a cyborg assassin played by Schwartzenegger, is sent back in time to kill.  Here too, the bodies pile up.  Like Chigurh, the Terminator kills people by the dozen, with or without reason, including unlucky cops whose vehicles are driven away as souvenirs.  Like Chigurh, the Terminator is badly wounded and responds identically: by going back to his cheap motel room to methodically repair the damage himself, showing no hint of emotion.   The Terminator did it first; but did it do it better?

The Scorecard.   Obviously, No Country and The Terminator have their differences; I don't recall The Terminator receiving much Oscar buzz in 1984, for example.  Technically, No Country is nothing short of brilliant -- across the board.  I don't usually notice a film's sound editing, but No Country's is as pitch perfect as the dialogue. Both films are well-made, although The Terminator, created two decades ago on a relatively low budget, shows its age (like most sci-fi films not re-edited by George Lucas do).

Knocked Up (2007) -vs- She's Having a Baby (1988)

Review by Scott Baradell

The Smackdown.   Since my wife and I are expecting our first child next month, I thought I'd deliver a pair of battlin' babies into Smackdown Nursery -- pregnancy-themed comedies Knocked Up (by writer/director Judd Apatow) and She's Having a Baby (by writer/director John Hughes). While Apatow has been a proud papa at the box office, spawning an ever-growing family of Knocked Up siblings, Hughes opted to abandon his offspring in a Blockbuster parking lot.  The movie's financial failure drove him into the arms of Macaulay Culkin; Baby was his last real attempt at a comedy for adults.

"Just to be clear, Seth, in real life, you would never see me naked."

The Challenger.  Knocked Up is the second-best comedy of 2007; the best is Superbad.  Like Apatow's lesser 40 Year Old Virgin, the films have an almost magical capacity to combine raunchy belly laughs with heartfelt emotion without undermining either.  In the case of Knocked Up, my wife and I watched it at the theater and recently rented it again on DVD -- and we laughed as hard the second time as the first.  The coupling of upwardly mobile babe Alison Scott (Katherine Heigl) with downwardly mobile slob Ben Stone (Seth Rogen) is about as unlikely as they come.  But their experiences have remarkable verisimilitude, as my 11th-grade English teacher would be the first to tell you.  From baby books and pregnancy sex to bossy doctors and hormonal outbursts, the film covers every landmine that couples must negotiate (or more often, just plain step on) during those 40 weeks.

Flannel Pajamas (2006) -vs- Annie Hall (1977)

Review by Scott Baradell

The Smackdown. Boy meets girl.  Boy loses girl.  Boy gets girl back.  That's generally how it works in Hollywood, but not with "Flannel Pajamas" and "Annie Hall," two flicks that follow a relationship from its inception to its death throes with intimate, dialogue-driven scenes that are sometimes almost too painful to watch.  In both cases, the realism is driven by autobiography; director Jeff Lipsky's low-budget meditation is based on his failed marriage, while Woody Allen's Oscar-winning classic is rooted in his failed relationship with Diane Keaton (real name: Diane Hall; nickname: Annie).  And both movies tell the story of a doomed romance between a Midwestern gentile and a New York Jew.

The difference is that Allen's film also happens to be a laugh riot, whereas "Flannel Pajamas" is about as hilarious as Alvy Singer's favorite flick, "The Sorrow and the Pity."  So, which film does a better job of making us relive the pain of our past breakups?

"Honestly, babe, I think the film will do better if we call it 'Buck Naked' but if you think 'Flannel Pajamas' is better, then I want what you want. Do we have time for a quickie?"

The Challenger.  After renting this movie on DVD, my wife and I spent the first hour of the 124 minute runtime debating whether to turn it off and go to bed.   We hated the two main characters -- the obnoxious, controlling Stuart Sawyer (Justin Kirk) and the negative, needy Nicole Reilly (Julianne Nicholson) -- and found many of the scenes documenting their budding romance more than a little contrived.  The only saving grace (for one of us) was the fact that Julianne is naked for much of the first half of the movie.

But after the couple gets married and the cracks in their relationship begin to surface -- and ultimately become wide enough to drive a truck through -- the movie comes together in a special way.  The oxytocin has worn off for the lovers, and now they see each other as plainly as we did in the first half of the film.  And they're as miserable as we were.

"The movie's called 'Annie Hall' not 'Alvy Singer,' okay? I don't really care if you are directing, get a clue."

The Defending Champion.  Critics generally hail "Manhattan" as Allen's best work, but give me "Annie Hall" (followed by "Crimes and Misdemeanors," which was featured in a split-decision Movie Smackdown with Allen's own "Match Point").  The film is the story of the rise and fall of the relationship of Alvy Singer (Allen) and Annie Hall (Keaton), and as with "Flannel Pajamas," we can see the union's fatal flaws -- in particular, Alvy's self-sabotaging neuroses -- well before the characters do.  And remarkably, despite a cavalcade of memorable one-liners ("I think what we have on our hands is a dead shark"), the dialogue between Alvy and Annie sounds very natural.  The classic scene where the couple picks up live lobsters off the kitchen floor is like a great moment from a reality TV show.   

The Scorecard.  "Flannel Pajamas" loses points right off the bat for its cutesy title, and falls miles behind with its less-than-compelling first hour.  But after nearly losing us, "Flannel Pajamas" comes back strong.  We watch Julianne get turned off by Stuart's overbearing nature, begin talking badly about him to her friends, and appear less than supportive when Stuart's brother dies.  We watch Julianne's friends and anti-Semitic mother chip away at the marriage whenever the opportunity arises.  The dialogue in these scenes rings so true that you're sure to have flashbacks to past marriages or relationships.  And like Stuart at the end of the movie, you'll wonder why you didn't do things differently. Blame the oxytocin.

While "Flannel Pajamas" looks unblinkingly at a marriage's disintegration based on its director's personal experiences, "Annie Hall" goes further -- offering us a look inside Allen's restless, intensely creative, introspective, hilarious brain.  Visually, Allen throws out all the stops -- animation, kids speaking adult dialogue, Annie leaving her own body during sex, subtitles to show what people are really thinking when they talk, and on and on.

And when it comes to those true-to-life, painful-to-watch relationship moments, Allen delivers as well.  One of the worst for me is when, after breaking up with Annie, Alvy tries to create the same magic with a new woman by inviting her over for lobster.  Of course, he fails miserably.  He then tries to win Annie back, but it's too late.

Looks like we have a decision. Read on...