Bryce Zabel's MOVIE SMACKDOWN!

The Wrestler (2008) -vs- Rocky Balboa (2006)

Taking a Last Shot at Glory 

The Smackdown.  It's a classic underdog story (and Smackdown) we have before us. Other than boxer George Foreman it almost never happens in real life but we love the very idea of an aging champ who gets up off the canvas (comes out of retirement) to claim his former glory in a final burst of passion and daring. A couple of years ago nearly everybody was shocked to see that there was even an ounce of life left in the Rocky franchise when, in its sixth installment, "Rocky Balboa" got off the cinematic mat and gave audiences the best experience with the boxer from Philly since the bicentennial. This year there's all kinds of buzz about Mickey Rourke's stellar performance in "The Wrestler."  Ladies and Gentlemen, let's get ready to rumble because Randy (the Ram) Robinson has just stepped in the ring with Rocky Balboa!

The Challenger. The hype over this film is split about 50/50 between the poignancy of the story and world of director Darren Aronofsky's fourth feature and the fact that it mirrors in content a comeback story in real life featuring Mickey Rourke. There's no question that Rourke has had an erratic career, built on bad choices and oddball behavior in public so there's a dramatic resonance when he plays Randy (the Ram) Robinson, a battered hulk of a professional wrestler who should stay down but keeps getting up. "The Wrestler" actually won the Venice Film Festival this year in its depiction of the real, hard-edged world of pro wrestling. We all know it's faked but that doesn't mean that people don't get hurt and feel pain, and that the pain can be emotional as much as physical. It's twenty years after the Ram's hey-day in this film and instead of Madison Square Garden, he's playing some pretty awful venues. It's so bad he can't even make the rent on his trailer but the physical demands of getting in the ring make it a worse place to make a living with every passing day.

Slumdog Millionaire (2008) -vs- The Kite Runner (2007)

Rising Above Expectations

The Smackdown.  Childhood friendships can last a lifetime and have profound consequences. Both "Slumdog Millionaire" and "The Kite Runner" tell sweeping stories in the lives of two boys -- a set of brothers in the former and a set of friends who act like brothers in the latter. They use narratives that cut back-and-forth across time, forcing them to use multiple sets of actors to portray their characters as boys turn to men. The contemporary storylines are deepened by the children's experiences we see in flashback.  Both films started as novels, force viewers (English-speaking ones anyway) to read a few sub-titles and share settings -- India and Afghanistan -- that have been scarred by terrorism as deeply as the United States. And even though "Slumdog Millionaire" is probably going to get an Oscar nomination this year, it's still going to have to hold off "The Kite Runner" to win this Smackdown...

The Challenger.  "Slumdog Millionaire" feels like it's giving you an authentic slice of life in the real India.  As directed by Danny Boyle from a screenplay by Simon Bradley based on a novel by Vikas Swarup, it tells the story of Jamel, an impoverished orphan from the slums of Mumbai who, as the film begins, is amazingly winning on the Indian version of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" against all the odds.  He's being accused of cheating because nobody can believe a petty thief with his background could possibly know what he knows.  And there's the cheat which isn't a cheat at all.  Flashbacks reveal exactly how hard-won the knowledge is that is allowing him to become a sensation.  His story is embellished by his on-going relationship with his equally adept survivor brother Salim and the improbable romance with a girl named Latika.

Bridget Jones's Diary (2001) -vs- When Harry Met Sally... (1989)

Love Amid the Party Favors

The Smackdown. I can’t criticize anyone who’s not struck by the party mood as 2008 lurches to a merciful end. Recession, foreclosures, unemployment. Really, what’s to celebrate, so let’s see how a pair of seasonal movies rise above the gloom. The characters that populate “When Harry Met Sally…” and “Bridget Jones’s Diary” survive the holiday gauntlet with their dignity intact. Both films beat back loneliness and offer inspiration. These days we’re all looking for that recipe. That’s what this Smackdown is all about: Whose New Year’s Eve party do you want to attend?   

Director Rob Reiner struck gold “When Harry Met Sally…” opened in 1989. The package had everything: a smart, Oscar nominated script from Nora Ephron, and several memorable scenes replayed and parodied over the years. The performances still hold up. Surrounding this is great music from both Gershwins, Rodgers and Hart, Rodgers and Hammerstein, Irving Berlin, Benny Goodman and Duke Ellington.

“Bridget Jones’s Diary” quickly found a worldwide audience in Sharon Maguire’s 2001 feature film directorial debut. Helen Fielding, Andrew Davies and Richard Curtis adapted Fielding’s popular novel about a London woman concerned about love, her career prospects and her weight. Renee Zellweger shows an easy comic touch with a British accent.

Both movies offer much to celebrate; one more than the other.

The Challenger. After another lousy New Year’s Eve, Bridget Jones starts keeping a diary amid high hopes. She wants to drop some weight, cut back on smoking and drink less. Bridget is not very successful there, or in love. She falls for her scoundrel boss, Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant), who likes her well enough until a new thrill comes along. Cleaver is charming, predatory, funny and betrayal comes easily for him. Just ask lawyer Mark Darcy (Colin Firth) whose wife ran off with his best man, Daniel Cleaver. Bridget’s parents (Jim Broadbent and Gemma Jones) fitfully try to match her with Darcy. He’s becoming interested in a roundabout way but Bridget is not. She’s too busy with her new job as a TV reporter. It’s not going well until Darcy helps her land the big interview. Bridget is still enthralled by the scraps of attention Cleaver tosses her way. Mark Darcy barely shows his cards: “..What I’m trying to say..very inarticulately.. is that despite appearances I like you. Very much.” Bit by bit Bridget’s eyes are opened to Darcy’s submerged decency and Cleaver’s utter lack of character.

Last Chance Harvey (2008) -vs- Something's Gotta Give (2003)

Acting Their Age?

The Smackdown.  The great thing about being famous, one has to imagine, is that when you get older there are still lots of people who want to have sex with you.  Maybe that's the same dynamic that drives superstar actors to sign on for that one last film where they get to play a character "of a certain age" who still can get laid by an attractive member of the opposite sex.  It's the cinematic way of telling the world, "I've still got it!"  Our Smackdown pits two popular male stars against each other, both came of age in the 60s and are now well into or past their own sixties.  In these films, they get to play romantic leads finding love late in life even though, shall we say, they ain't quite lookin' the part.  Our two actors both play characters with the same initials (H.S.), Jack Nicholson (Harry Sanborn) and Dustin Hoffman (Harvey Shine).  Both characters need to make up for lifetimes of mistakes by finding the right love interest for their final act.  Will they get their women?  Well, come on now, it's Jack and Dustin.  What do you think?

The Challenger.  Dustin Hoffman plays Harvey Shine, a failing (and flailing) music jingle writer in "Last Chance Harvey."  British writer/director Joel Hopkins shoots the whole thing on location in London where, as it turns out, Harvey has landed to see his daughter married.  The rehearsal dinner is a disaster, he looks a fool and before he can skulk out of town he gets fired long-distance.  While he's licking his wounds in an airport bar, he runs into the bookish Kate Walker and, although sparks never fly between them, they do, sort of, maybe, start to hit it off.  They're both living lives of quiet romantic desperation.  She talks him into sticking around to be a real part of his daughter's wedding dinner and he does because she's right and because he really is starting to like this woman.  There are details to follow but not a one that will cause you any real doubt about how this is going to work out.

Twilight (2008) -vs- Edward Scissorhands (1990)

Edwardian Romance

The Smackdown. Teenaged girls are a force to be reckoned with. Like tsunamis and hurricanes. Oh sure, industry wisdom has it that teenaged boys go to the movies; they're the prime target audience. Anyone who ventures into the multiplex in the heat of summer knows that. But never underestimate the awesome power that is a teenaged girl with a crush...for that crush can easily become an obsession...and that obsession can turn into some serious cash. Witness last weekend's seventy million dollar box office take for the eminently crushworthy vampire teen romance, "Twilight."  For almost twenty years, "Edward Scissorhands" has been my uncontested poster boy for doomed Gothic-tinged star-crossed romance. Can Edward Cullen, Twilight's fangless undead hunk unseat Tim Burton's most memorable creation? It's the Battle of the Edwards...a Battle to the Death. And beyond.

The Challenger. Well, she was just seventeen. You know what I mean. Bella Swan. Barely enough blood in her brooding body to bring a blush to those perfectly smooth cheeks. Listless. Lifeless. Secretive. So deeply sensitive that the slightest of smiles might overstate any case for happiness. A child of divorce shuttled between dry hot Arizona and cold damp Washington State. Phoenix to Forks. Frying pan into the fire.

"Twilight" is the blue-hued film that perfectly captures all the angst, ennui and bliss of being a teenager in love. Based on the incredibly hot series of novels by Stephenie Meyer and brought to the big screen by director Catherine ("Thirteen") Hardwicke and screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg, what we have here is a chick-let flick of impeccable pedigree.