Bryce Zabel's MOVIE SMACKDOWN!

Disturbia (2007) -vs- Rear Window (1954)

Window Watchers

The Smackdown. What were once called voyeurs, with links to aberrant behavior and psychiatric studies, are now just... Us. Since the visual media explosion that began halfway through the last century, we have become a nation, even a world, of voyeurs. We watch movies, live sporting events, TV, and in particular, Reality TV, and get off on it. This phenomenon of vicarious interest was first explored in the movies in 1954 (back when we still had lives of our own) in Alfred Hitchcock’s legendary “Rear Window," a warped character-study wrapped in a murder mystery. Now Dreamworks, in the person of director D.J. Caruso (“Taking Lives,” “Two For the Money”), has re-made the Master’s classic as “Disturbia," employing teens, or at least twenty-somethings playing teens, in place of the "Rear Window" cast of veteran adult stars.  

The Challenger. “Disturbia” (teen angst for Suburbia) stars Shia Leboeuf as a teen who has gotten into serious trouble following the death of his father. Confined to his house by court order, enforced by an ankle bracelet (a new 21st century twist), he longs for freedom and begins to watch the lives of those who are free around him, his neighbors. In between spying on the nubile new-girl-next-door, dealing with his ‘dude’ best friend, and going to war with the trio of brats who occupy the house on the other side of his, he notices strange goings-on at the neighbors across the street. Is the lone, hulking owner (David Morse), a compulsive gardener, a serial killer, or is our hero just bored and paranoid? Soon, the confined teen has both the new girl and his buddy assisting him as legs and eyes in a potentially mortal investigation.

Santa's 2007 Movie Smackdown!

The Smackdown. You certainly don't need to believe in Santa Claus to take inspiration from a good film that is either about the holiday or uses it as its backdrop. So here at Movie Smackdown! we've asked each of our critics to write a short blurb about a Christmas film that they have a special fondness for. Then we're going to submit those choices and others to the dreaded blog poll treatment. Which holiday film or films do you think are worth repeat viewing to get in the holiday spirit? Humbug, you say? Read on...

No, we don't think that you will likely choose "Fred Claus" as the Christmas film you'd want to recommend to your friends to see every year or even, maybe, this year. On the other hand, the breadth of Christmas films out there is wide and many have their passionate defenders and detractors. We think Movie Smackdown! is the perfect place to sort this out.

Here are the films that our critics have decided to advocate as the one Christmas movie they think you should either see for the first time or re-visit during the holidays. We have, as you'll see, a wide diversity of opinion.

By the way, if you're one of those people who simply want to vote and get it over with, you can go to the bottom of this post and you'll find the polls there.

Across the Universe (2007) -vs- Rent (2005)

Bursting into Song

The Smackdown. I got a lot of good advice from good friends on this one, before I ever saw Julie Taymor's homage to the Beatles and the Counterculture era, "Across the Universe."  Some thought it could be smacked down against "Tommy" or "Hair," for obvious reasons.  Or "I Am Sam," because both films share a Moptop soundtrack. (Remember when mags like "Teen" and "Tiger Beat" called the Beatles "The Four Moptops?")  And I was sorely tempted, as I love that story of a retarded man's struggle to retain custody of his young daughter, and count it as one of my all time favorite films.  Even Forrest Gump" got a mention, because "Universe" resembles it in the way it offers snapshot glimpses of the same period in American culture.  But shortly into the viewing, I found myself recalling the movie version of "Rent," because both films are ambitious yet flawed stories of a polyglot group of young people meeting during an explosive time in our history, easily becoming friends, and bursting into song at the slightest provocation.

  "That's two no foam, two soy, and nothing for the guy on the left."

The Challenger. See, here's the thing:  Although I grew up in this time period, I was never a Beatles fan.  Guys couldn't sing along with "The Four Eunuchs," (my term for them at the time) their voices were just too high.  So I went to see "Across the Universe" a little skeptical, but curious.  And the movie does not start off well.  I felt the first twenty minutes, mainly setup, was uninvolving; the paper-thin plot of Boy Meets Girl (American Heartlander Lucy, played by Evan Rachel Wood, meets Jim Sturgess as Brit Jude) was dull; and their breaking into song was stilted and uncomfortable.  But by the end of this uplifting movie I had been turned into a bona fide follower of The Fab Four.  Now I can wear pointy-toed ankle boots and hate Yoko with the best of 'em.  Because the film thankfully finds its footing, both musically and dramatically, and delivers a hearty dose of feelgood that had the audience cheering through the credits.  "Across the Universe" is not so much a paean to the Beatles as it is a celebration of Music, itself, and how it both reflects and influences our lives, in very positive ways.  "Universe" is at its best when staging musical numbers that are full of imaginative, elaborate sets and clever photography; at its worst when it tries to shove the cast into love relationships that don't always ring true.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007) -vs- The Long Riders (1980)

Runnin' from the Law
Review by Jay Amicarella

The Smackdown.  "Kill all the lawyers!"  That's one of the first lines from the classic 1939 version of "Jesse James," starring Tyrone Power and Henry Fonda as the title character, and his brother, Frank.  The saga of the real-life James Boys, their friends, the Youngers, Millers, and (hiss) the Fords has been a Hollywood staple for almost a century, and for every film, there has been a different interpretation of the legendary Missouri outlaw.  Jesse has been depicted in wildly differing films as outgoing, stoic, easygoing, stern, voluble, and taciturn.  "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" dares to suggest that the man that newspapers of the day compared to Robin Hood was no more than a vicious thug, who may have been going mad from the stresses of being hunted 24/7.  In 1980, "The Long Riders" put forth the idea that Jesse James was at his core, a devoted family man, and his robbing of trains, coaches, and banks was just a bad habit, like smoking.  Since the James' rode over two millennia ago, it doesn't really matter, to the people of today, what he was really like.  Historical accuracy is, at this stage, unimportant, because, ultimately, he was no more than a curiosity in an era where the local media didn't have enough news to write about.  The question for us is which film does its best to entertain, and advance the beloved genre of The Western.

"Maybe we could, you know, go for a ride or something together sometime, Jesse, if you felt like it."

The Challenger. Film buffs refer to classic films, sometimes, by their initials, so "Gone With the Wind" becomes "GWTW."  So what the hell am I supposed to do with this? TAOJJBTCRF?  It's way too long, and, at two hours, forty minutes, so is this film.  From the title, I guess I was expecting a rollicking action yarn, both poking fun and reveling in the genre; not a somber, deliberate to the point of inert, character study.  "Coward Robert Ford" is not interested in entertaining us, and also takes pains to show it is not to be categorized as 'Western.'  It does attempt to examine two men, Jesse (Brad Pitt) and Bob Ford (Casey Affleck), their motivations, strengths, weaknesses, and their uncomfortable similarities in temper and vanity.  The story begins during the waning days of Jesse James' life.  The colorful Youngers and the rest of Jesse's merry band are either dead, or in jail, and he is left with the Miller and Ford boys, and some others, the dregs of Missouri lawbreakers.  Frank James (Sam Shephard) warns Jesse that Robert Ford is not to be trusted, but, like many egocentrics before and after him, Jesse needs a sycophant, and young, weasely Bob Ford fills the bill. Plus, there is a homoerotic subtext driving the two men's fatal attraction. And, of course, Jesse pays the ultimate price for his weakness, and lack of judgment.  Clearly we're not in John Wayne territory, here, and that's fine, but why the pacing of a crawl?  Scenes that should have taken no more than a minute are drawn out forever, with endless close-ups of the actors' slow, mute reactions to somebody else's fraught-with-meaning lines.  And there is a needless narration, drawn from the text of the book on which the movie is based, that sounds like a Ken Burns' documentary series.  You know, those ten-hour tributes to Baseball or the Civil War?  "Coward Robert Ford" feels longer.

The Jane Austen Book Club (2007) -vs- Memoirs of a Geisha (2005)

Love Lessons from Abroad
Review by Jay Amicarella

The Smackdown.  You've probably seen a movie written by Robin Swicord and didn't even know it.  Her specialty is adapting popular novels for the bigscreen, and this South Carolina native has transformed some books I never would've read into films I'll never forget.  Such diverse material as "Matilda," "Practical Magic," "Shag," and "The Perez Family" have all received the Swicord Treatment, and although her screenplays and the films themselves have had varying degrees of success, the results of her labors are very watchable.  In 2005, Swicord adapted "Memoirs of a Geisha" for "Chicago" Director Rob Marshall, a story of Love unrequited, in an insular, emotionally repressive society.  Sound like a Jane Austen novel?  In 2007, Robin Swicord not only adapted the screenplay for "The Jane Austen Book Club," she directed this romantic drama-dy of a disparate group of book lovers whose love lives begin to resemble the plots of the works they discuss every month.

"Oh, no, darling, I don't think I'm educated far beyond you. Now, get back to the book...What did Jane see Spot do?"

The Challenger.  When Sylvia's (Amy Brenneman) lout of a husband (Jimmy Smits) asks for a divorce after twenty-odd years and three children, well-meaning Bernadette (Kathy Baker) seeks a divertissement for her distraught friend.  After a chance meeting with Prudie (Emily Blunt), a high school french teacher whose own marriage is foundering, and discovering that the young woman shares her and Sylvia's love of the books of Jane Austen, Bernadette founds "The Jane Austen Book Club, " as an effort to help both women. She quickly recruits Sylvia's lesbian daughter Allegra, and old friend Jocelyn (Maria Bello) as charter members, but that leaves six Jane Austen novels for just five women, an inequity that is soon resolved. In Grande Austen style, the equally well-intentioned Jocelyn drags the newly-met  Grigg (Hugh Dancy), a highly strung sci-fi buff, into the group as a possible romantic stopgap for Sylvia, in spite of an instant mutual attraction between  Grigg and herself.  Emotional havoc ensues, not only between these three, but the other book club members, as well.  Neglected by her Jock husband, Prudie begins to find herself falling for an amorous student at her school, while the mercurial Allegra meets a new love interest after a sky-diving mishap.  Six-times married, world-wise Bernadette is content to sit back, and be an observer and confidante, for a while....

"The Jane Austen Book Club" is briskly paced, and there are appealing characters, great lines, and many funny/sad moments to enjoy, as the club members realize both, that they are behaving as characters in Austen's books, and, as they are in the throes of love, they are powerless to stop themselves.  The film becomes uncomfortable when director/writer Swicord attempts to project Elizabethan sensibilities on to twenty-first century dilemmas.  After enduring searing real-life headlines, the audience can find little humorous or romantic in the prospect of a teacher's seduction by a student, for one.  The movie succeeds when the characters either show, as in the books they love, too much restraint in their romantic decisions, or not enough.

"I am glad you have come to me for support and advice.  First, might I suggest you lose the whiteface, and try ProActiv?"

The Defending Champion.  "Memoirs of a Geisha" is the story of a young girl (Suzuku Ohgo) sold by her poor family into a kind of privileged slavery in 1929 Japan.  Trained from the age of nine to become, upon her adulthood, the Asian version of a courtesan, young Chiyo yearns for the lost love of her family, only finding kindness and acceptance from a wealthy stranger referred to only as The Chairman (Ken Watanabe).  As she matures into a beautiful young Geisha, she is renamed Sayuri (played by Ziyi Zhang), and incurs the jealous wrath of the House's pre-eminent member, Hatsumomo (Gong Li).  Due to the intense strictures of Japanese society, the inevitable battle between the two women has to be played out with guile and subtlety, but neither of them realize that the coming inferno of World War II will thwart, and make irrelevant, all their efforts.

"Memoirs of a Geisha" is a gorgeous, senses-filling wonder, full of exquisite costumes and sets, captivating music, and sensual set pieces.  The depiction by scenarist Swicord of a world forbidden for centuries to, not only Westerners, but all of Japanese society, save for a few privileged males, is intrigueing and provocative.  But the film suffers from director Marshall's lack of understanding of the nuances of the culture he is examining, and this weakens the film's overall impact.

The Scorecard.  When's the last time you hooted at a movie because of the rotten acting?  It rarely occurs, anymore, thanks to the devotion to the Craft of a generation of performers intent on delivering quality, and directors who fully understand how to get the most from those in their employ.  And these two films are no exception.  Much of the success of each is due to the superb portrayals offered by some of the best in the business.  "The Jane Austen Book Club" is buoyed by Kathy Baker, in one of the best roles she's had in years, as Bernadette, drolly underplaying to maximum effect. Grieving Amy Brenneman, aiming-to-please Hugh Dancy, abashed Jimmy Smits, in fact, the whole cast, lift the movie above the material, and almost produce a winner on sheer talent, alone.  Likewise, the cast of "Memoirs of a Geisha," especially the riveting performance of the staggeringly beautiful Gong Li as the malevolent Hatsumomo, makes you believe in and care for all concerned. And Robin Swicord's scripts are inarguably well written, particularly "Book Club", where she deftly inserts lines from Jane Austen's classics into character's mouths to amuse the Austen aficianado, while at the same time explaining the goings-on for the neophyte.  But each film stumbles along its way.  In "Book Club," it is wrapping up serious situations too conveniently, too pat for believability.   Relationships that are in grave trouble are rescued at the last minute clumsily, with little regard for the audience, or the pride of Miss Austen.  In "Memoirs of a Geisha," it is the director who comes up short.  Rob Marshall obviously couldn't come to an understanding of an incredibly complex society, given the limits of the time he had to work on the project, and the result is somewhere between costume-epic and  movie of substance.