Bryce Zabel's MOVIE SMACKDOWN!

Nobel Son (2008) -vs- Before the Devil Knows You're Dead (2007)

Brothers Up in Arms

The Smackdown.  Since Cain and Abel, brothers have been letting things get out of hand. The conflict is biblical and filmmakers just can't stay away from the chance to tie bad brothers and greed into a messy bow for us.  There's always room for the new. After all, it's been three decades since Michael and Fredo Corleone put the same issues out there in a pair of "Godfather" films three decades ago. Now, writer/director Randall Miller makes his own run in "Nobel Son" with plenty of greed and sibling fireworks. Just last year writer Kelly Masterson reworked those ideas in the highly regarded but under appreciated "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead" from director Sidney Lumet. That's our holiday Smackdown!: Deciding which movie tells the better story of battling brothers, and which deserves a lump of coal.

The Challenger. Few people are less deserving of the acclaim just bestowed upon Eli Michaelson. His unbelievable good fortune propels "Nobel Son." Michaelson (Alan Rickman) receives word he won the Nobel Prize in Chemistry and it turns a simple misanthrope into a monster. Eli's colleagues disliked his aloof, condescending manner; now he's insufferable and they hate him. That pretty much sums up the feelings of Michaelson's forensic psychiatrist wife, Sarah (Mary Steenburgen) and their son, Barkley (Bryan Greenberg). To Sarah, Eli is selfish, philandering and boorish. He is dismissive toward Barkley. Eli Michaelson is irresistibly nasty. Matters might have remained at that level until Barkley misses his flight to the award ceremony in Sweden. He's been kidnapped by Thaddeus James, whose genetic link to Eli had been undisclosed until now. James (Shawn Hatosy) wants revenge and Michaelson's Nobel Prize money. A convoluted series of events follows, involving mayhem, the Stockholm Syndrome, double crosses, several Mini Coopers, a detective (Bill Pullman) sweet on Sarah, plus an unstable young woman named City Hall (Eliza Dushku). On the way to resolution, no plot twist is ignored and the story - cowritten by Miller and Jody Savin- even aims for laughs.

Australia (2008) -vs- The Castle (1999)

David and Goliath Down Under

The Smackdown. I love Australia. I love their cute marsupials and their adorable accents. I especially love Australian films so you can just imagine how fast I ran down to the nearest multiplex to see Baz Luhrman's very expensive and very epic "Australia." For the sake of argument, let's say you too love Australia. Will you love "Australia?" Or might your next Aussie Movie Night be better spent scouring the movie outback for something more scaled down and intimate? “The Castle,” perhaps the smallest and un-mightiest of all Australian films, loads up its telemovie slingshot against all the CGI battleships and bombers movie money can buy. It's David against Goliath. Let’s see if history repeats itself.

The Challenger.  "Australia" director Baz Luhrman makes very pretty images. I’ll give him that. And they’re not making romantic epics much these days. I’ll give him that too. What the heck. I’m in a holiday mood. 

It’s almost three hours long. You should know that up front. If you’re still undaunted, I’m not about to throw any spoilers in your way. Suffice it to say that you’re in for a lot of scenery. Costume changes. Cattle drives. Evil cattle baron – the kind of bad guy who actually snarls and wears a black hat. Institutionalized racism. Horses. Campfires. Personalized racism. Hypocrisy. World War II. Class struggle. Noble savages. Greed. Nameless, shirtless heroes. Scrappy unlikely motley crews accomplishing the impossible. Mistaken identity. Slow motion running. Murder. Mayhem. Magic. Harmonicas. Clichés of every description recycled for your viewing pleasure (or annoyance).

Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008) -vs- The Amateurs (2007)

Decent Hard-Working Americans Who Play By The Rules

The Smackdown.  When the economy gets tough, the tough make porno.  That's the big "high concept" of our two films in the ring today.  Based on the news from Wall Street, better brace for an avalanche of nudity and meaningless sex.  Oh, well...

Popular culture and the movies give form to our preoccupations and anxieties. Okay, there's no explanation for "The Love Guru" and "Beverly Hills Chihuahua." Other movies effectively connect the dots on themes like politics ("W," "Syriana") and human foibles ("Forgetting Sarah Marshall," "Knocked Up"). The newest release from Kevin Smith fits the formula in combining SEX with THE RECESSION for laughs.  "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" started a buzz with a trailer that doesn't contain a single frame from the film. It promises the sort of movie Smith produced over seven earlier features: engaging, funny and potty-mouthed. In this regard it echoes the spirit of writer / director Michael Traeger's well-regarded, but little-seen "The Amateurs."  It sets up a natural SMACKDOWN!: Which movie best captures the funny side of economic uncertainty?

The Challenger. Zack (Seth Rogan) works at a coffee shop, Miri (Elizabeth Banks) at a mall. By their own estimate, these platonic friends in Pittsburgh haven't set the world on fire. They can't meet the rent on the modest house they share and the utilities have been turned off. Over beers they brainstorm a turnaround: Let's make a porno movie! Their project gets off the ground, as Zack puts the touch on a co-worker for production money and they recruit talent for the shoot. "Star Whores" is about to begin production when wreckers flatten their makeshift "studio" for new condos. No problem: They move the production to Zack's coffee shop and rename the flick "Swallow my Cockaccino."
Along the way, a movie gets made. Zack and Miri learn about film making, and themselves. Kevin Smith wrote the script he directed.

Towelhead (2008) -vs- American Beauty (1999)

Taboo Sex in the Suburbs

The Smackdown.  The suburbs of Alan Ball's imagination are places that so stifle people from living reasonable lives that they go berserk looking for meaning.  That can include quitting your job, blackmailing your boss and going to work at a fast food restaurant or it can mean underage kids pulled into sexually confusing or predatory relations.  So far as I can tell, it never means anything normal.  "American Beauty" got the Oscar almost a decade ago after taking us on a joy ride into the curdled family dynamics of the Burnam household and now "Towelhead" takes us into the outer regions of Houston where coming to America looks like something that immigrants should hardly wish for.

The Challenger.  "Towelhead" begins with a 13-year-old girl Jasira (Summer Bishil) calmly letting someone completely inappropriate shave her pubic hair.  I'm not joking: do not take your kids to see this picture.  In any case, Jasira gets shipped off to live with her father Rifat (Peter Macdissi) who works for NASA in a bland tract house in a cul-de-sac of weirdness.  There's the racist and obnoxious 11-year-old next door who turns her onto sex magazines and the kid's father Mr. Vuoso (Aaron Eckhart) who actually manages to do worse things to her than force her to endure the act that started the picture.  Along the way and in between this sadness, the film, based on a 2005 novel by Alicia Erian, wants to tell a story of "sexual awakening" of this young girl.  Written and directed by Alan Ball, it's his directorial debut.

Bottle Shock (2008) -vs- Sideways (2004)

The Wrath of Grapes

The Smackdown.  With this year's "Bottle Shock" and 2004's indie darling "Sideways," we have two films that put their respective audiences smack into the middle of the California wine growing scene.  One is more about making wine and the other is more about drinking wine and it's not a small difference.  Obviously, making wine requires more commitment and a great deal more knowledge than actually pouring yourself a glass and kicking back.  But to those who are serious about it, drinking wine forces its own commitments in time and knowledge.  Picking a winner here may be like forcing a decision on whether red or white wine is best.  On the other hand, maybe we still can decide which one is a full-bodied experience with clarity and a spicy aroma and which one may be too hollow or flabby to spend time with.  Let's pop the cork and get to work...

The Challenger.  Cultivating grapes and making wine involves the hard work and honest tilling of the earth that makes farming such emotionally satisfying work.  It has the added bonus of creating an end product that isn't considered a staple but is to many people the epitome of sophistication.  It exerts a real pull or otherwise Francis Ford Coppola wouldn't have decided he liked that job as much as directing movies. 

"Bottle Shock" takes us back over three decades to the year of the American bicentennial of 1976 when California's Napa Valley put the world on notice that it was a force to be recognized by beating the best French wines in a blind taste test conducted with French judges.  The whole idea was the brainchild of a British wine seller living in Paris by the name of Steven Spurrier (Alan Rickman) who needs to do something to actually drive some business into his "Academie du Vin."