Bryce Zabel's MOVIE SMACKDOWN!

Superbad (2007) -vs- American Pie (1999)

Boys Just Wanna Have Fun, Too

The Smackdown. Over the recent Thanksgiving holiday, I had a chance to screen the "Superbad" Blu-ray for some friends and remember just what a raunchy, funny and emotionally accurate film it is.  I was reminded that you're never too old to relive the total humiliation of your teenage years, nor to remember (if you're a guy) just how much you wanted to get in the Club and to realize it might just be out of reach. Both "Superbad" and "American Pie" give us groups of horny high school guys who would really like to have shed their virginity so they can truly relax and enjoy graduation, knowing that they will not have to spend the rest of their lives lying about what they did and did not do by the end of that fateful senior year. They know, apparently, that a diploma for merely passing classes is so not what it's about. Both of these films -- released eight years apart -- hit the gold with audiences of all ages and theaters during both releases were filled with actual screams of laughter. This ain't gonna be easy...

The Challenger. When our family returned from a 2007 vacation, it seemed that everyone we knew had seen "Superbad" except us. This really bothered my teenager, Jared, so we went as soon as we got back, jet-lagged or not. As it turns out, this film is so entertaining and outrageous that the last thing you will ever do while watching it is go to sleep. The film starts with dick-jokes and similar raunch and never stops but, the thing is, the dialogue all feels very fluid and confident, even if underneath it all, it's also just a little sad. The point is, most reviews will now tell you, it's really not about the sex-jokes, it's about the friendship between Seth (Jonah Hill) and Evan (Michael Cera). Well, yeah, and the sex-jokes. A third-wheel friend, Fogell, played by new kid Christopher Mintz-Plasse pretty much steals the show and the moniker "McLovin" has probably forever entered the nation's vocabulary.

Tropic Thunder (2008) -vs- Galaxy Quest (1999)

"Tropic Thunder" DVD Release - November 18

The Smackdown. Movies are already an illusion -- stories committed to film that feel real but, at best, are only an impression of reality.  With this Smackdown! we have a couple of competitors about real people playing characters in unreal film and TV projects who end up being taken as authentic by people who can, basically, kill them, and so they have to suck it up and act like the heroes they pretend to be. In both "Tropic Thunder" and "Galaxy Quest" (both from DreamWorks), things are not what they seem.  Could Ben Stiller actually fight his way out of a paper bag any more than Tim Allen could save the universe from world-destroying aliens?  Roll film...

The Challenger. You're shopping for something to watch, perhaps a comedy to flavor the mix of summer movies. You need something to cleanse the memory of "The Love Guru" and Eddie Murphy's latest misfire. Going back for another dose of "Hancock" won't do, and neither will another road trip with Harold and Kumar. Maybe try out a comedy that spoofs better than "Get Smart" and comes with a load of pre-release buzz: "Tropic Thunder." It's the latest from writer / actor / director Ben Stiller and will not escape some controversy for having Robert Downey, Jr. appear in black face.

Wall-E (2008) -vs- Toy Story (1995)

"Wall-E" DVD Release - November 18

The Smackdown.  "Wall-E" -- the last masterpiece to roll off the Pixar assembly line -- is out as a DVD/Blu-ray.  Remember when you first heard about this two-hour-long space-opera with barely any dialogue about robots who sift through garbage?  Who knew that it could one day step in the ring against the champion and have a real shot at victory?

So our Smackdown pits Pixar's lastest advancement in computer-animated awesomeness against the grand-daddy of them all, the first authentic feature-length computer-animated film ever, "Toy Story."  We all know the deal there -- toys come to life.  Done.  We're hooked. And ever since the film's first screening, we've been running out of our front doors shouting "To Infinity and Beyond!" as we left for work each morning.  So let's pit one set of talking inanimate objects against another set of sort-of-talking inanimate objects.  Let the best merchandise win!

The Challenger.  Way, way back, back before "Toy Story" was produced and Pixar was the animated behemoth that it is today, Andrew Stanton created Wall-E. A small, "short-circuit"-styled robot (whose name is actually an acronym for the phrase "Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-Class") Wall-E is the last of a line of robots left on Earth to clean up the mess we've made. Due to years of gorging consumerism, the planet has been left a giant trash-heap, too littered to possibly sustain life. In a grand gesture of social responsibility, the mega-conglomerate Buy 'N Large Corporation has encouraged humanity to take a 5 year "vacation" away from the planet, allowing their robots stay behind and restore Earth to a livable state while we all relax pool-side. Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008) -vs- The Amateurs (2007)

Decent Hard-Working Americans Who Play By The Rules

The Smackdown.  When the economy gets tough, the tough make porno.  That's the big "high concept" of our two films in the ring today.  Based on the news from Wall Street, better brace for an avalanche of nudity and meaningless sex.  Oh, well...

Popular culture and the movies give form to our preoccupations and anxieties. Okay, there's no explanation for "The Love Guru" and "Beverly Hills Chihuahua." Other movies effectively connect the dots on themes like politics ("W," "Syriana") and human foibles ("Forgetting Sarah Marshall," "Knocked Up"). The newest release from Kevin Smith fits the formula in combining SEX with THE RECESSION for laughs.  "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" started a buzz with a trailer that doesn't contain a single frame from the film. It promises the sort of movie Smith produced over seven earlier features: engaging, funny and potty-mouthed. In this regard it echoes the spirit of writer / director Michael Traeger's well-regarded, but little-seen "The Amateurs."  It sets up a natural SMACKDOWN!: Which movie best captures the funny side of economic uncertainty?

The Challenger. Zack (Seth Rogan) works at a coffee shop, Miri (Elizabeth Banks) at a mall. By their own estimate, these platonic friends in Pittsburgh haven't set the world on fire. They can't meet the rent on the modest house they share and the utilities have been turned off. Over beers they brainstorm a turnaround: Let's make a porno movie! Their project gets off the ground, as Zack puts the touch on a co-worker for production money and they recruit talent for the shoot. "Star Whores" is about to begin production when wreckers flatten their makeshift "studio" for new condos. No problem: They move the production to Zack's coffee shop and rename the flick "Swallow my Cockaccino."
Along the way, a movie gets made. Zack and Miri learn about film making, and themselves. Kevin Smith wrote the script he directed.

Paper Moon (1973) -vs- The Sting (1973)

Brother, Can You Spare Some Time?

The Smackdown.  While the world today is transfixed by the impending bailout caused by scammers who put us on a path to economic meltdown, both "Paper Moon" and "The Sting" are about scammers who did their best work after it happened.  Can you say Great Depression?  Can you say Great Depression II: The Sequel?  Anyway, there must have been something in the water out here in Hollywood in 1973 to have triggered two such comedies within six months of each other.  Both films give us characters who believe that the system has already proved itself to be so rigged against the average guy that it's okay to lie, cheat and steal in order to get by.  And they make it look good.  These guys (and that little girl) would have killed on today's Wall Street. We'll give the "Defending Champion" designation to "The Sting" because it performed better at the box office and start the rumble...

The Challenger.  Despite the above picture, "Paper Moon" which is based on Joe David Brown's novel "Addie Pray" was brought to the screen by writer Alvin Sargent and director Peter Bogdanovich in black-and-white.  It's best known because real-life father-daughter Ryan and Tatum O'Neal star together and she actually won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress (youngest to ever win).  It's about a con job where the two of them team up to sell overpriced Bibles to unwitting widows (by claiming their husbands ordered them just before they died).  This is not normally the kind of behavior one cheers on but, the truth is, you do anyway.   Also noteworthy was the high-contrast, extreme depth-of-field cinematography by Laszlo Kovacs, Bogdanovich's long, uninterrupted takes which lets the fast-paced, snappy dialogue shine without resorting to conventional cutting techniques and the exclusive use of actual period tunes from the personal collection of Rudi Fehr heard only when one of the characters is listening to a radio.