Bryce Zabel's MOVIE SMACKDOWN!

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) -vs- Transformers (2007)

Editor's Note: "Tranformers: Revenge of the Fallen" had a five-day opening gross of $201.2 million from 4,234 theaters domestically. This trampled the $152.4 million earned by "Spider-Man 2," which previously held the five-day record for a Wednesday launch.  Plus, "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" nearly matched the best five-day gross of all time which was $203.8 million for WB's "The Dark Knight."  But, of course, what really counts is whether or not it won its Smackdown. What say you, Beau?  ~~Bryce Zabel

The Smackdown. Hollywood's in love with the 1980s, and nowhere is it more apparent than with the Transformer's franchise. In 2007, the first "Transformers" was a box-office success, easily earning a sequel in "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen."  Now, in less then two years, "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" hits theaters with the same cast and crew as the original.  Sounds like a fair fight?  So true to the spirit of the Transformer series, today's smackdown pits robot against robot in a knock-down intergalactic cinematic fight as we ask which film does robot-on-robot action better?

The Challenger. With "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen," Michael Bay spares no expense ensuring audiences get more bang for their $14 movie ticket. This time, a college-bound Sam Witwicky finds himself trapped in the ever-escalating war between the Autobots and Decepticons...again. See, a prehistoric Transformer called The Fallen intends to drain our sun to obtain the Transformer's life-force, Energon. Naturally, he'll then conquer the cosmos or achieve some equally impolite end (like chewing with his mouth open). But only Sam knows the location of this Energon machine due to a series of psychic visions. Now, Sam must lead the Autobots to Egypt where they wage war against The Fallen, his Decepticons, and Megatron...yes, that's right, Megatron's back too. Still want more plot? Don't worry; I just gave you half. Clocking in well over two hours, "Transformers: RotF" has enough plot for three trilogies. It's the only type of sequel you'd expect from Michael Bay: one that's bigger, louder, and dumber.

Star Trek (2009) -vs- Star Trek: Wrath of Khan (1982)

 This Reboot's Made for Warpin' 

The Smackdown.  Reboots.  A familiar frontier. These are the voyages of the Hollywood business. Now if only I could go reboot the time I bested too many Jager shots and woke up at the campus bus stop twenty minutes before a Physics midterm. Now, it's easy to groan when Hollywood reboots yet another franchise.  Batman.  Hulk.  James Bond.  The list goes on.  Up this year is Star Trek, one of television's most enduring franchises, spawning spin-offs, films, video games, and Trekkies. With such a long history and devote fan base, it's scary to think what a reboot could mean for a franchise most believe reached its prime with Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.  Nevertheless, we boldly go tonight where no smackdown has gone before, with Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan locking phasers and photons with the reboot simply titled Star Trek.

The Challenger.  Facing down gospels of Star Trek canon, J.J. Abrams reintroduces the original crew of the USS Enterprise in their fledgling years at Starfleet Academy, centering the film around an arrogant and willful James T. Kirk and an emotionally-conflicted Spock.  But there's not much time for learning with these Starfleet cadets as a Romulan mining ship arrives from the future (of course, it's Star Trek) hellbent on revenge, thus demanding an emergency response from The Federation.  Star Trek benefits from the advances of modern technology and offers a visually-arresting action film.  In keeping with Abrams trademark storytelling, the film grinds its legendary characters through unrelenting plot twists, revelations, and reversals.  A faithful adaptation of a franchise mixed with a little bit of Apple, Star Trek is a summer blockbuster with the thrills and chills to please fans and newcomers alike.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) -vs- Iron Man (2008)

 Men of Metal 

The Smackdown.  Well, bub...another year, another X-Men movie.  Marvel Studios and Fox continue expanding its X-Men film universe with the addition of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, the first in a series of Origins spin-offs designed to focus on specific characters from the X-Men franchise.  With the movie already proving to be a box office blast, I'm sure we'll get all the way to X-Men Origins: Xavier's Wheelchair before this franchise runs out of steam.  So what other film hero could possibly best the Wolverine?  How about another team member who goes solo on film?  Yes, another "man of metal"...Iron Man, founder of The Avengers (due out in 2011...you're welcome, Marvel)!  So today, sparks fly, metal on metal, adamantium and iron clashing to determine which of hero can hold his own alone?

The Challenger.  Hugh Jackman returns to the role that made him an American star in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, directed by Rendition director Gavin Hood.  Taking place roughly fifteen years before Bryan Singer's X-Men, X-Men Origins: Wolverine explores Logan's journey in becoming an amnesiac mutant with indestructible adamantium-laced claws.  William Stryker, the bigoted villain of X2: X-Men United, is back with a plan to genetically-create a "mutant-killing" soldier for the coming species war--a plan that inadvertently creates Wolverine.  New to the fray are fan favorites Gambit and Deadpool, each helping and hindering Logan as he tries to track down another familiar face, Sabertooth.  Jam-packed with comic book cameos, witty one-liners, and over-the-top thrills, X-Men Origins: Wolverine is a fast-paced action adventure which moves as swiftly and ruthlessly as its main character.

X-Men (2000) -vs- X2: X-Men United (2003) -vs- X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

 X Marks the Spot 

The Smackdown.  What happens when you take a merry band of hot people with gifts that get them lynched, a bitter geriatric villain born from the Holocaust, and a Star Trek captain confined to a wheelchair but still in charge with his faintly-odd-I-can't-place-that-but-it's-North-Atlantic accent?  You get the X-Men trilogy, started by Bryan Singer in 2000.  Leave it to the X-Men, a comic book franchise that re-defined comics, to make comic book films cool again following the fall of the Batman franchise.  With X-Men Origins: Wolverine's release and Fox's not-too-subtle Blu-ray release of the X-Men series, X-Men, X2, and X-Men: The Last Stand face up to find out which film is more evolved, and which determines the fate of mankind's war against their genetic superiors?

In One Corner.  Bryan Singer's X-Men took a little bit of Matrix and a whole lot of Marvel and jam-packed it all into an intense 90-minute film that was surprisingly more thriller than action film.  This isn't a surprise since Singer has always seemed most comfortable in thrillers, The Usual Suspects and Apt Pupil being the merits that earned him X-Men's directorial helm.  In X-Men, Logan, a.k.a. Wolverine, an amnesiac mutant with indestructible claws, is found by the X-Men, a group of highly-trained mutants who moonlight as teachers at a school for young mutants.  The school's headmaster, Charles Xavier, dreams of creating a world where human and mutants co-exist.  Opposing Xavier and his X-Men is Magneto, Xavier's former best friend and militant leader of the anti-human Brotherhood of Mutants.  This is a movie made by its casting since the plot is rather slim and predictable.  Watching Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan wax philisophical as comic book versions of Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X makes for a riveting thriller.  

Dr. Manhattan (1986/2009) -vs- The Silver Surfer (1966/2007)

 Big Bald Dudes with Really Smooth Skin 

The Smackdown.  Ladies and Gentleman, welcome one, welcome all to our very first Character Smackdown! We've all wondered at times: who would win?  Rambo versus Jack Ryan?  John McClane versus Martin Riggs?  Ethan Hunt versus Jason Bourne?  Rocky versus The Wrestler?  Terminator versus Wall-E?  Tonight, we have a cosmic showdown as Stan Lee's Silver Surfer blasts his way toward Dr. Manhattan to find out what mortal-turned-deity remains standing. Will it be Marvel's Surfing Herald for The Destroyer of Worlds or will it be The American Atomic Superman?  With the ability to atomize objects, glimpse the future, and traverse space-time itself, what matters in the end when god meets god?

The Challenger.  This past week moviegoers were introduced to John Osterman, a.k.a. Dr. Manhattan.  Created in 1985, Alan Moore's demi-god represented the next step in the nuclear race, a living, breathing "Atomic Man" in the world of Watchmen.  One of the earliest members of the vigilante group The Minutemen, scientist John Osterman fell victim to a freak accident in which his basic being became warped by energies beyond knowable science.  The result: a super-powered god, contracted by The United States to tip the balance of the Cold War.  In Vietnam, Dr. Manhattan cuts a atomic swatch across the battlefields, wrapping the war up neatly.  But with his power came the burden of immortality, a burden that challenged Osterman's very humanity.  And Dr. Manhattan goes from a man isolated from his humanity to a man who simply gives up on humanity itself.