Bryce Zabel's MOVIE SMACKDOWN!

Valkyrie (2008) -vs- The Usual Suspects (1994)

Who Do You Trust?

The Smackdown.  All kinds of films that want to be considered for an Oscar just got dumped in theaters in a post-Christmas frenzy. Some of them won't even be out in wide-release for weeks but need to get even some limited screen-time in Los Angeles or New York to qualify. So we've been served up alleged Catholic molestations... men aging backwards... a dog's life... and Nazis. In the last category, we've got Jews fighting Nazis in Russia, Nazis sleeping with teenage boys after the war, and -- for the ultimate Smackdown -- Nazis versus Nazis. That would be Bryan Singer's newest film, Valkyrie, which explores the most ambitious and almost successful plot to assassinate Adolf Hitler. The film reunites Singer with screenwriter Christopher McQuarrie from The Usual Suspects and lets him return to the dramatic genre where he started his career.  So today, we put Bryan Singer circa 1994 up against Bryan Singer circa 2008 and this showdown, unlike Valkyrie, is one whose ending is not known...

The Challenger.  Valkyrie is a return to form in many ways for Singer.  The film explores the failed assassination plot on Adolf Hitler, one that came dangerously and surprisingly close to actually succeeding if not for a certain flukes.  Tom Cruise stars as Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg, an injured German soldier completely and utterly fed up with Hitler's ridiculous military ambitions.  Assembling a knock out class of some of Europe's finest actors, Singer crafts a straight-up historical heist tale that somehow manages to elicit suspense and tension despite everyone knowing the ending.  The film, expertly shot and directed, is a true testament to the art of historical filmmaking and how the known can still be suspenseful.

The Dark Knight (2008) -vs- The Godfather, Part II (1974)

Best Sequel EVER?

The Smackdown.  When "The Dark Knight" hit movie screens earlier this year, critics screamed that cinema history had just been made, that it was even better than the movie that spawned it and, just possibly, one of the best films ever released.  In 1974, the same thing happened.  "The Godfather, Part II" was not only seen as the best sequel ever but it stood up as a great film, winning the Oscar for Best Picture, like its predecessor from two years earlier. The test for these sequels is whether they managed to continue and expand upon the originals that came before them, by charting fresh new territory, raising the stakes and deepening the concepts.  Now is the perfect time for this true Smackdown of Champions since "The Dark Knight" has just been released on DVD and Blu-ray and "The Godfather, Part II" was recently released as part of the meticulously done Coppola restoration, also in both formats.  

Just like any film, sequels must justify their very existence to even be made. However, sequels also pull double duty, having to prove not just "why make it?" but also "why make more?" The answer, usually, is because new films make more money and, hopefully, establish a franchise for the studios that make them.  Sometimes, and these two films are prime examples, something else happens and the answer to "why make more?" is simply that there is more story to tell with characters that filmmakers and audiences just aren't done with. 

Which one of our two films is the Best Sequel Ever Made?  Is it the one starring Batman, the crime-fighter in The Dark Knight, or is it the one with Michael Corleone, the crime-lord in The Godfather, Part II?  Our battle is likely to be disastrous, brutal and raw -- like the films themselves.  Let's introduce the challenger...

Transformers (2007) -vs- Independence Day (1996)

From the Editor:  In breathless anticipation of the release of the re-make of "The Day the Earth Stood Still," we offer this Classic Smack to get you in the mood for aliens that have just plainly had enough of us puny humans.  Plus, at the end, you can vote in our two polls aiming to pick the BEST ALIEN INVASION films from the First Wave of the 1950s and the Modern Wave from 1970 to the present. Here's Beau DeMayo's 2007 SmackOff between a couple of very bad-ass invaders to get us started...  Thanks, Bryce...

Aliens in Really Bad Moods

The Smackdown.  Whenever aliens invade our planet, the vaunted resources of humanity's technological aggression pale in comparison to their greatest "weapon":  luck. Sure, the heroes of those films will preach about courage, history, and the innate goodness of humanity... but in the end, humans are just really lucky when it comes to aliens. The invaded humans of Michael Bay's "Transformers" are not only lucky but, like Oprah audiences, score nifty GMC cars in the process. Sad for Will Smith, the humans in "Independence Day" (or "ID4") just got a whole lot of combustible monuments, shot-down jets, and a drunk redneck tail-spinning in F/A-18 Hornet. But when it comes to balls-to-the-wall alien invasions, which movie's humans do a better job of not relying just on luck and special FX to make a good film?

The Challenger.  More than meets the eye...in a Michael Bay film?  "Transformers" was pitched to Michael Bay as a film about a boy getting his first car. Really, it's about a boy caught between two groups of alien robots whose intergalactic war has crashed landed on Earth. Fearful of the evil Megatron and his Decepticons, the monologue-fueled Optimus Prime and his Autobots enlist Shia LaBeouf's aid in finding the Allspark, a techno-mystical cube with the power to animate any mechanical form while also possessing the plot-convenient ability to destroy the very creatures it creates should screenwriters Robert Oci and Alex Kurtzman write themselves into a climax corner. By the end of the movie, I think I got that Megatron wanted this cube so that he could create a new mechanical army to take over Earth... but that was after two brain-busting hours of claustrophobic action, syrupy slow-mo shots, self-aware jokes, and bombastic explosions. On that subject...

Wanted (2008) -vs- Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005)

Angie Get Your Gun

The Smackdown.  Angelina Jolie loves guns.  On top of knowing this, I have a sneaking suspicion that studios love Angelina Jolie with guns because most men do.  Who wouldn't want to see the gorgeous wife/mistress/girlfriend of Brad Pitt kick into high gear and kick ass while shaking her own?  So, while a million wives and girlfriends hold their lovers closer now that the "Wanted" DVD and Blu-ray is out, let's entertain these men's ultimate fantasy -- a movie smackdown where one Angelina Jolie with guns faces off with another Angelina Jolie with guns.  When such doppleganger femme fatales clash, who comes out on top?  When the smoke clears, will it be "Mr. and Mrs. Smith"'s Jane Smith or "Wanted"'s Fox that'll have women checking their boyfriends' internet histories to avoid becoming the next Jennifer Aniston?

The Challenger.  "Wanted" is an interesting case of comic book adaptations.  Michael Brandt and Dennis Haas adapted Mark Millar's graphic novel while MIllar was finishing the series.  The result was a screenplay that barely resembled the comic series, which focuses on a world where disgusting villains have massacred all superheroes and now move on to fighting one another. The film "Wanted" focuses on Wesley Gibbons (James McAvoy), a nerdy pushover recruited by Jolie's Fox to follow in his father's footsteps and join the Fraternity, a organization of ambiguously powered assassins who literally read the threads of fate to determine their targets.  This "Loom of Fate" allows the Fraternity to keep good and evil in check.  With Jolie's help, McAvoy must take out the man who killed his father, the notoriously ruthless Cross.  Highly flawed, Wanted is nevertheless an ultra-violent rookie film that'll thrill action buffs with its obligatory set pieces and bombastic stunts.  This movie is about action more than story; expect it and just enjoy McAvoy and Jolie tearing through bad guys in frenetic, stylized combat.

Quantum of Solace (2008) -vs- Casino Royale (2006)

The Smackdown.  It's the longest running movie franchise in the history of the world.  In total, it has grossed billions worldwide, surpassing perhaps the gross domestic product of many small nations.  In 1964, James Bond skulked from the hard-boiled cynicism of Ian Fleming's novels onto the Silver Screen, introducing the world to their Favorite Super Spy.  Yet time was unkind to the Bond franchise, and the films descended into stale parodies of themselves, straying further from not only Sean Connery's iconic debut but also the fascinating, amoral spy of Fleming's novels.  Then came "Casino Royale" and Daniel Craig.  With Daniel Craig, Bond found his relevance again, and his heart.  Today, facing high expectations in the wake of "Casino Royale", "Quantum of Solace" has stirred up violent controversy as to its quality against "Casino Royale."  Today, we let the newest Bond go up against the last Bond, trying to put what has become something of a media field day to rest.

The Challenger.  "Quantum of Solace" arrives under the direction of Mark Forster, scripted by Neal Purvis & Robert Wade and Paul Haggis.  The movie is a somber epilogue to "Casino Royale", with a betrayed and bitter Bond viciously hunting the mysterious organization behind his former lover's demise. Bond is largely unforgiving, a force that is at times both brutal and surgical.  As he nears the organization (named Quantum), Bond finds himself in the middle of a South American coup de tat, underscored by an oddly realistic attempt to horde the world's water supply.  Incorporating elegance and taste with the typical tropes of Bond, "Quantum of Solace" is a lean--if somewhat too short--depiction of a Bond that finds a cold place for Double-O Seven in the modern world.