Bryce Zabel's MOVIE SMACKDOWN!

It's A Wonderful Christmas Story Actually

With Thanksgiving behind us now, Americans are doing their part to jump-start the national economy by buying things they don't need in order to employ people they don't know and, of course, Movie Smackdown has a new Christmas poll.  Holidays are about tradition, right?  This is ours and we're sticking with it. 

Last year, we asked ten of our SmackRefs to each recommend a Christmas film that they have a special fondness for, something that can stand the test of repeat viewing.  That poll turned out to be a squeaker with an unexpected winner when traditional favorite "It's A Wonderful Life" fell narrowly to the period "A Christmas Story" with a strong third place by the relatively new "Love Actually."  Those are the finalists in this year's reader's poll.

Last year's winning vote-getter was "A Christmas Story," advocated by SmackRef Scott Baradell who picked up on the pop culture momentum of film to take the prize. It is true that the other two top films from 2007 came from SmackRefs with last names that end in, well, Zabel, (i.e. Lauren with "Love Actually" and Jonathan with "It's A Wonderful Life") but they beat out seven other critics with their picks to show.  And, by the way, yours truly picked "Home Alone" which, sadly, did not make the cut.  Three of our most prolific SmackRefs also failed to rally the voters a year ago:  Mark Sanchez liked "The Ref," Beau DeMayo favored "Polar Express," and Jay Amicarella pulled up the Polar Caboose with his pick of "A Child's Christmas in Wales."

In any case, the past is just nostalgia.  Now to get you in the holiday spirit again, we're putting those top three finishers in the ring against each other to decide, once and for all (at least until next year) who the real champion is in the "No-Humbug Zone."

After the jump, you'll read the SmackRef's statements of support for the top three vote-getting films from last years ten competitiors, followed by both the original 2007 poll and this year's 2008 poll.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Twilight (2008) -vs- Edward Scissorhands (1990)

Edwardian Romance

The Smackdown. Teenaged girls are a force to be reckoned with. Like tsunamis and hurricanes. Oh sure, industry wisdom has it that teenaged boys go to the movies; they're the prime target audience. Anyone who ventures into the multiplex in the heat of summer knows that. But never underestimate the awesome power that is a teenaged girl with a crush...for that crush can easily become an obsession...and that obsession can turn into some serious cash. Witness last weekend's seventy million dollar box office take for the eminently crushworthy vampire teen romance, "Twilight."  For almost twenty years, "Edward Scissorhands" has been my uncontested poster boy for doomed Gothic-tinged star-crossed romance. Can Edward Cullen, Twilight's fangless undead hunk unseat Tim Burton's most memorable creation? It's the Battle of the Edwards...a Battle to the Death. And beyond.

The Challenger. Well, she was just seventeen. You know what I mean. Bella Swan. Barely enough blood in her brooding body to bring a blush to those perfectly smooth cheeks. Listless. Lifeless. Secretive. So deeply sensitive that the slightest of smiles might overstate any case for happiness. A child of divorce shuttled between dry hot Arizona and cold damp Washington State. Phoenix to Forks. Frying pan into the fire.

"Twilight" is the blue-hued film that perfectly captures all the angst, ennui and bliss of being a teenager in love. Based on the incredibly hot series of novels by Stephenie Meyer and brought to the big screen by director Catherine ("Thirteen") Hardwicke and screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg, what we have here is a chick-let flick of impeccable pedigree. 

Quantum of Solace (2008) -vs- Casino Royale (2006)

The Smackdown.  It's the longest running movie franchise in the history of the world.  In total, it has grossed billions worldwide, surpassing perhaps the gross domestic product of many small nations.  In 1964, James Bond skulked from the hard-boiled cynicism of Ian Fleming's novels onto the Silver Screen, introducing the world to their Favorite Super Spy.  Yet time was unkind to the Bond franchise, and the films descended into stale parodies of themselves, straying further from not only Sean Connery's iconic debut but also the fascinating, amoral spy of Fleming's novels.  Then came "Casino Royale" and Daniel Craig.  With Daniel Craig, Bond found his relevance again, and his heart.  Today, facing high expectations in the wake of "Casino Royale", "Quantum of Solace" has stirred up violent controversy as to its quality against "Casino Royale."  Today, we let the newest Bond go up against the last Bond, trying to put what has become something of a media field day to rest.

The Challenger.  "Quantum of Solace" arrives under the direction of Mark Forster, scripted by Neal Purvis & Robert Wade and Paul Haggis.  The movie is a somber epilogue to "Casino Royale", with a betrayed and bitter Bond viciously hunting the mysterious organization behind his former lover's demise. Bond is largely unforgiving, a force that is at times both brutal and surgical.  As he nears the organization (named Quantum), Bond finds himself in the middle of a South American coup de tat, underscored by an oddly realistic attempt to horde the world's water supply.  Incorporating elegance and taste with the typical tropes of Bond, "Quantum of Solace" is a lean--if somewhat too short--depiction of a Bond that finds a cold place for Double-O Seven in the modern world.

Encounters at the End of the World (2008) -vs- March of the Penguins (2005)

"Encounters at the End of the World" DVD Release - November 18

The Smackdown.  In the last few years, the documentary world has given us a couple of projects about living in Antarctica that play out against a backdrop of global warming.  "Encounters at the End of the World" and "March of the Penguins" want to be seen as important because they're being offered to us at a time when the ice caps are shrinking into less-and-less of their former selves.   At the same time, though, the filmmakers want to distract us from the education by making us feel entertained with either quirky characters or Morgan Freeman voice-over.  Americans have the biggest base down there at the South Pole -- McMurdo -- but, apparently, that's where the commitment stops:  both of these films were done, originally, by Europeans.  So, here we go:  penguins versus humans, in a frozen world that's so damn cold your spit can freeze before it even hits the ground.

The Challenger.  Director and writer Warner Herzog also narrates his film about life in Antarctica and, I have to say, listening to his accented voice-over reminds me that it was the Germans who called Antaractica "Neuschwabenland" before World War II and were reputed (in UFO circles anyway) to have repaired there after the end to build flying saucers at secret bases tunneled under the ice.  Okay, you've been warned.  If Herzog has another agenda, you heard it here first...

The film he's made is great example of the idea that you can go to the literal ends of the Earth to get away from it all, and still be where you started.  People are still people, and they need to connect as much as ever.  I probably know as much about life in the US Antarctica base at McMurdo as any living human can without actually having lived there.  A few years ago, I wrote a TV series pilot for DreamWorks TV called, yes, "McMurdo" and read books, websites and talked to all manner of iceheads.

Hancock (2008) -vs- Superman: The Movie (1978)

Editor’s Note:  With this review, we welcome our first “international” SmackRef, Rodney Twelftree from Australia.  He’s got his own movie blog there, Fernby Films.  Anyway, we welcome his new voice to our mix and hope this is the first of many.  To all our new Australian readers who come aboard as a result, welcome to the Smack!

The Smackdown.  You'd be forgiven for thinking that Hollywood has forgotten how to make anything but superhero movies.  They come out as regularly as the comic books that spawned them once did for adolescent boys with ten cents burning a hole in their pockets.   The one that got it all started, of course, was "Superman: The Movie" -- starring Christopher Reeve.  Based on staying power, Superman is probably the greatest comic hero of all time and 1978's film version "Superman: The Movie" has become the gold standard in comic-to-film translations.  In the Richard Donner-directed film, the title character soared to new heights with state of the art effects (for the day), enormous budget, and a cavalcade of talent both in front of, and behind, the camera.  Its successful formula inspired so much competition that even the franchise re-boot, "Superman Returns," had trouble standing out from the pack when it came out.  So, it was inevitable that an anti-hero version would be made, as a way to cut through the superhero signal-to-noise ratio.  Enter a movie star super man to take on the challenge -- Will Smith.  He flies high (and low!) in the Peter Berg-directed flick, "Hancock."  Apparently, it's not easy being super, and Will suffers through his enormous power beset by alcoholism and depression.  Is "Superman: The Movie" dated and old and open to being kicked around by "Hancock" or is the man in tights still The Man?  Let's see if Will Smith can overcome the giant legacy of Christopher Reeve. 

The Challenger. Imagine if you took a hero like Superman, gave him a drinking problem, and the attitude of a Tarantino film. Essentially, that's "Hancock". Boozy, lazy, self indulgent and often, just plain rude, Hancock is the kind of superhero you definitely do not want coming to save you from a burning skyscraper. Problematic rescues involving massive property damage have tarnished his reputation as a decent hero, and instead, the city of Los Angeles is seeking reparations for the damage he has caused in apprehending criminals or saving people. Yep, Hancock's all about angst, an angry god-like man beset with the emotional growth of a pineapple. Throw in a young, not-quite-successful public relations guru in Ray (Jason Bateman), and the sparks will surely fly. Especially when Hancock gets his eyes around Ray's wife, played with toothy relish by Charlize Theron: you just know it's gonna get messy.