X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) -vs- Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

Review by Bryce Zabel 

The Smackdown. Two films made of box office gold, each one the third part of a blockbuster thrillogy, based on a powerful franchise that has been around in literary form for decades. Which one does the more satisfying job of bringing closure?

The Challenger. "X-Men: The Last Stand." This world's only big enough for one powerful mutant leader -- and the film sorts out whether that will be Professor X who wants everyone to get along or Magneto who sees life as survival of the fittest. Oh, and the entire Golden Gate Bridge gets uprooted and levitated over to Alcatraz so that the last stand, as it were, can claim a high body count. It's kind of goofy, but lots of fun. And it blew apart all previous Memorial Day box office records so people must like it a lot.

"It's like Mind Over Magnetism, or something like that. Don't overthink it."

The Defending Champion. "Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King." As far as last stands go, the one in this film at Minas Tirith is a barn-burner. This film honestly tries to bring all the various strands of the previous two films together and send the characters we've come to know and love or hate off to their respective destinies. Another baldie dies (Gollum, not Professor X), and the ring itself -- the ultimate McGuffin -- is finally rendered into a form where people (or hobbits) are not likely to have to agonize over its power anytime soon.

"One more word about the damn Ring and you are going home alone!"

The Scorecard. It would be hard to make any argument that tried to refute the nearly unassailable fact that "Lord of the Rings" is the most incredible trilogy of films since the first three "Star Wars" and, in my view, it's even more of an achievement. That leaves no place for the "X-Men" trilogy to even draw in oxygen. Limiting the back-and-forth, however, to which film actually completes its trilogy most satisfyingly makes it a conversation. But the final installment of the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy simply does a brilliant job of recovering any lost momentum from the second "Two Towers" film and brings the entire vast canvas of story into clear focus. The final installment of the "X-Men" trilogy, in contrast, hardly seems to resolve much other than the fact there will need to be another huge public works project to restore the Golden Gate to its rightful place. There's a lot to like in the core concept of "X-Men: The Last Stand" but the stand the mutants make at Alcatraz neither feels final nor much like a stand.

The Decision. "Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" takes home the Smackdown Virtual Trophy because it will be remembered a hundred years from now for its singular accomplishment while "X-Men: The Last Stand" will probably still generate sequels that go down fine with a bag of popcorn and a Coke.